The things I've learned...

I keep learning the same lessons over and over again. There's something wrong with my head. I can't seem to grasp the lessons I learn and suffer through.
For example, School...
I feel as though I try and try. But I think there's something deep down inside that stops me. I'm not sure of a lot things around that issue.

I'll think about over again.


But the big lesson here that I want to talk about is people come and go.

There's about ....### billion people on this world? I'm not even sure of that number. Yet, I get stuck on people. Recently, I have to come to terms with myself and realized.. I don't give a shit about people anymore.

I know who my friends are. I know what kind of people I get along with. I'm not going to conform to people. I'm not going to deal with people's shit anymore.

That being said. I'm not saying I'm going to just act like I am and go on with my life. I change. Everybody changes. We change every single second of our lives.
I changed. I will change. I'm changing as we speak.
The problem here though is don't expect me to be the only person changing.

I realize that I fuck up A LOT. I know I over analyze EVERYTHING. But don't tell me something that I know for a fact that I'm not. because I analyze myself more times than anybody else. I know who I am. I know what I do and act.

I'm tired of people telling lies about me. I'm tired of people spreading rumors about me. I'm tired of people falsely accusing me. I'm tired of people.

I'm not stupid. I know who does it. People think they're sly and shit. But you're really not. I know who you are. People who lie to my face and act fake. Then they go behind my back saying shit. Yeah...

Then you question why I'm such a bitch to you? Is it really that much of a surprise?

This is vague I know. It's meant for many people. I'm not pinpointing one person here.

I know I'm a bitch. I admit it. I accept it. I LIKE it. It makes me who I am and it gives me a security blanket to ward off fucking wankers and twats.

If you don't like it, then you don't know me. You think I'm just saying that? Then you really don't know me.
And I'm COMPLETELY fine with that.

I've said this before but I'm going to say this again.

It's really hard to be my friend. I realize that. However when we're actually friends, you won't regret it. I treat my friends very well. If you don't believe that, well I wonder why....

side note: I overreact? I know I do. But in some situations, you're not thinking clearly nor accusing me of the right things. If you want to have a go with me, AT LEAST have something to fight with? Don't pull out some random shit or worse, shit that isn't even true. It only makes you look stupider.